!i!i!i CHANGE i!i!i!

As we step into a New Year - what changes are you willing to make? What bad habits are you willing to let go of? What SHOULDS are you willing to make into MUSTS?

 

Many times habits and relationships served us earlier on in life become out dated and toxic. What toxic relationships & habits are you willing to let go of? Are you courageous enough to let go and leave room for the marvelous unknown to fill the void?

 

As we step into a New Year and New Decade, honestly ask yourself these questions. The quality of your future depends on the actions you take now.

 

So I ask you... What are you willing to let go of?

 

~Mastin Kipp

_____ Goals ______

Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

 

…

 

We each get caught up in particular goals –earn x amount of money, get this degree, travel to x exotic place. We write life lists, bucket lists, goal lists.

 

But underneath every goal, there is a desired feeling. Why do you want to run the marathon? Because you think you’ll have a certain feeling when you do, that you’ll feel strong or triumphant, or whatever it may be.

 

Why do you want to get that graduate degree? Perhaps because you think you’ll feel more confident with it. Or because it will help you have a particular career…and you want that career because of how you think it will make you feel.

 

Our goals are instruments. Our brains say, “To get that feeling, go do x. Be y. Acquire z. Complete this. Win at that. That thing out there – that experience or credential or moment will give you that feeling.

 

The problem: Experiences rarely change how we feel. Psychology research now shows what most of us have experienced anecdotally: life satisfaction cannot be correlated with external achievement, and we humans are very bad at predicting what will make us happy.

 

So this happens: we work really hard to reach the mountaintop, to make it to graduation or promotion day, and then find it feels nothing like we thought it would. Our goal hypothesis that “doing x will bring me feeling y” is often wrong.

 

But even if it were right – and some goal you’ve set was going to bring you remarkable feelings when achieved, you can also work on cultivating that feeling now.

 

Want to feel healthy, and think that being in tip top shape will help you feel that? Fine, get in shape, but also start feeling healthy today. Yup, today. What would you need to do, what would you need to think, what kind of choices would you need to make, to feel healthy right now?

 

Instead of waiting on a move to a new place, or developing x kind of relationship, or getting to know people, in order to feel “community” or “belonging,” explore what would give you a sense of belonging today. How do you have to see yourself and your current relationships differently? What opportunities—perhaps ones you’ve been avoiding – would you have to take?

 

It’s subtle, but this isn’t about charging into action. It’s not “DO IT NOW.” It’s really: see how what you really, really want is actually within your reach, and is generated from within.

 

You see what happens. This wakes us up. To the present moment. To the life around us. To our capacity to feel what we want to feel. To our true empowerment.

 

Whatever feeling you think your long term goals are going to give you, what if you got really serious about experiencing those feelings week? Today? In this moment?

 

Of course, there’s a reason why we don’t do this: it pushes us to take full responsibility for our state of being. It means letting go of the safety that comes with feeling dis-empowered, insecure, trapped, bored, stuck, and instead stepping into the more vulnerable territory of finding love, choice, aliveness in this moment. A part of us wants to run for the hills. And another part knows this is where real freedom and real peace lie.

 

~Tara Sophia

/\-\/-/\- MEANING -/\-\/-/\

There is not on big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person…  ~Anais Nin

 

== My Farewell ==

And so it is…I’ve decided to take a Digital Sabbatical – (No Social Networking, limited iPhone usage & surfing the web) ::sniff:: Oh how I looooove The Twitter and Nadia [yes, my iPhone has a name – go ahead…. judge ::sideeye…lol::] 

 

Q: Why a Digital Sabbatical?  

 

A: My mind is always --> ON <-- thinking, searching, researching, planning, experimenting, talking, helping, doing, learning, being ::insert title here::, sharing, ENJOYing… Lord knows that I’m ALWAYS up 2 something, positively! It really feels GREAT…GRATIFYING…I LOVE discovering…now… time to turn --> OFF <-- to restore… I can already feel it! ::hugs self::

 

At the end of this year, I feel buoyant, tender, & deeply intimate w/ myself & w/ my spirit. Lord, soooo much has occurred in the past 5 years… See, I get all emotional just writing about it! Wimp, I know! lol!  I am taken aback, like… WOW - what just happened? Wait, that really happened…to me??  I really did this??.  

 

I think we, being one with the Universe, also have seasons… new beginnings, maturity/growth, decline and rest/hibernation... Right now, I am in need of a long rest to take this all in and to step back and ask ‘5 years later, Who am I now?’…I will always be inquisitive… and so… I embrace this ‘season’ to transfer my energy from ‘being’ to ‘be’

 

Soooooo… to my loves also known as my family, friends, line sisters and the like… Call me if you need honey buns!!  I love you All, Always, All Ways!!  …keep in mind… Matter cannot be created or destroyed, only redistributed {^_^} 

(i_i) == Emotionally Charged Conversations == (i_i)

What do driving on ice and emotionally-charged conversations
have in common?

If you ever find yourself driving on ice and starting to skid,
there are two vital things to know:

1. DON'T put on the breaks.
2. Turn IN to the skid, into the direction you are already
skidding.

These both can seem counter-intuitive. I mean, come on! As
you start to skid and lose steering ability, your instincts
likely shout:

1. Make it stop! BRAKE, BRAAAKKE!
2. Steer hard the other way! Get the heck outta here!

So, too, in emotionally-charged conversations.

Ever notice when it starts to get heated, your instincts
are to put on the brake s and steer out of it, by either
getting defensive, protective, combative or shutting down?

There are generally two things that dig us deeper into
conflict and misunderstanding:

1. Not taking the time to fully understand what the other
    person is experiencing and expressing.
2. Getting defensive right away.

When we take the time to see/hear/understand (DON'T put
on the brakes) AND validate the other person’s experience
(turn in to the skid), amazing things can happen.

Your course corrects. The conversation doesn't spin out
of control into oncoming lanes of traffic.  The "emotional
charge" dissipates, and hearts become relaxed and open
because they've been heard and understood. And then, it’s
easier to work out what needs to be worked out.

So, next time there's a conversation with emotional "charge"
and you notice you are getting defensive, combative,
defensive or shut down:

1. Before you defend, attack or withdraw, stay present
    and pause.

2. Repeat it back, as you heard it. “If I got that right...“
    or “What I heard was _____ (repeat back what you heard).
    Did I get that right?”

   (So often, what you heard is different than what they
   said or what they meant.)

3. You can even ask them for MORE: “Let me see if I got all
    of that?” or “Is there any more you want to say about that?”
    "What else?"

    (This might seem counter-intuitive, to turn IN to the
    heated/charged stuff and asking for more.)

   (Note: hold any "red flags" that come up for you, and discuss
 wtih them later)

4. Step into their shoes and validate their experience:
   “You make sense because ...”  “I can see how you could see
   it that way or “I can see what you are saying ...”  or
   “I imagine that you could also be feeling ...”

   (You can understand their experience without it being YOURS)

OPTIONAL: Now, there may be room to  discuss the "real" issue,
create a new agreement, boundary, code word, shared language, etc.

~ LiYana

He..... doesn't even know it....

"Unsure of his autonomy and afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs, usually by trying to control me. He wants me to think he doesn't depend on me, but he binds himself closer than he cares to admit. Relationships can become battle grounds, where he can only claim victory if he denies his need for your support." ~Scott Wetlzer

It is important to him that I don’t get my way. He will act as if giving me what I want is important to him but, rarely will he follow through with giving it. It is very confusing to have someone appear to want to give to you but never follow through. You can begin to feel as if you are asking too much which is exactly what he wants to you to feel…


He's often out of touch with his feelings, reflexively denying feelings he thinks will "trap" or reveal him, like love. He picks fights to create distance…


He believes that deadlines are for everyone but him. He does things on his own time schedule and be damned anyone who expects differently from him...

He never expresses anger… he’s actually happy with whatever I want... On the outside anyway! He may have been taught, as a child, that anger is unacceptable. Hence he goes through life stuffing his anger, being accommodating and then sticking it to you in an under-handed way…

Feeling inadequate, he is unable to compete with other men in work and love. He operates as a tyrant, setting himself up as unassailable and perfect, needing to eliminate any threat to his power…

“Actions speak louder than words"… Oh how ambiguous he can be. He rarely mean what he says or says what he means. The best judge of how he feels about an issue is how he acts... Normally he doesn't act until after he's caused some kind of stress by his ambiguous way of communicating...

He prefers to leave the puzzle incomplete, the job undone...


By keeping me waiting, he sets the ground rules of the relationship. And his selective forgetting - used only when he wants to avoid an obligation. He avoids responsibility by "forgetting." How convenient is that? There is no easier way to punish someone than forgetting…


He feels I treat him unfairly... If I get upset because he is constantly late, he takes offense because; in his mind, it was someone else's fault that he was late. He is always the innocent victim of my unreasonable expectations, an over-bearing boss or that slow clerk at the convenience store…


He needs to have a relationship with someone who can be the object of his hostility. He needs someone whose expectations and demands he can resist. He is usually attracted to co-dependents, people with low self-esteem and those who find it easy to make excuses for other's bad behaviors…


He is master of mixed messages and sitting on fences. When he tells me something, I walk away wondering if he actually said yes or no…

The biggest frustration in being with him is that he never follows through on agreements and promises. He will dodge responsibility for anything in the relationship while at the same time making it look as if he is pulling his own weight and is a very loving partner. The sad thing is, he’ll make you believe that you are loved and adored when he is completely unable to form an emotional connection with anyone...

He ignores the problems in the relationship, sees things through his own skewed sense of reality and if forced to deal with the problems will completely withdraw from the relationship and you. He will deny evidence of wrong doing, distort what you know to be real to fit his own agenda, minimize or lie so that his version of what is real seems more logical…


He will say one thing, do another, and then deny ever saying the first thing. He doesn't communicate his needs and wishes in a clear manner, expecting me to read his mind and meet his needs. After all, if I truly loved him I would just naturally know what he needed or wanted, right. He withholds information about how he feels, his ego is fragile and can't take the slightest criticism so why let me know what he is thinking or feeling? God forbid he discloses that information and I criticize him…

He has a real desire to connect with me emotionally but his fear of such a connection causes him to be obstructive and engage in self-destructive habits. He will be covert in his actions and it will only move him further from his desired relationship with me...

He never looks internally and examines his role in a relationship problem. He has to externalize it and blame others for having shortcomings. To accept that he has flaws would be tantamount to emotional self-destruction. He lives in denial of his self-destructive behaviors, the consequences of those behaviors and the choices he makes that cause others so much pain…

He objectifies the object of his desire. You are to be used as a means to an end. Your only value is to feed his own emotional needs. You are not seen as a person with feelings and needs but as an extension of him. He cares for you the way he cares for a favorite truck. You are there for his comfort and pleasure and are of use as long as you fill his needs…

He wants the attention and attachment that comes with loving someone but fears losing his independence and sense of self to his partner. He wants love and attention but avoids it out of fear of it destroying him. You have to be kept at arms length and if there is an emotional attachment it is tenuous at best…

The only hope for change in the way he deals with relationship issues is if he is able to acknowledge his shortcomings and contributions to the problems. Facing childhood wounds, looking internally instead of externally to find the cause of problems in his life will help him form deeper emotional attachments with a higher sense of emotional safety…

~unknown

Who is He?

He is… disproportionately PASSive aggressive and he doesn’t even know it..


He is… loved…deeply and he doesn’t even know it…


His soul is beautiful and he doesn’t even know it…


He hurts people given that he’s hurt people… and he doesn’t even know it….


His vulnerability is as equally exquisite as his strength… and he doesn’t even know it…



He…. He… I…. He…sincerely… he…..…. doesn’t…..even…know it….

===Today's Mental Clutter===

And now reporting live from Sheraya’s Brain… ::elevator music::

 

Hello Hello and Welcome back to another episode of ===)) Mental Clutter ((===

 

Keri Hilson’s “Breaking Point” – Love the Song!!… here’s my take on the subject --> There’s NO LIMIT to my Love… either I love you or I don’t BUT there is a Limit to what I will tolerate from you.  My love & level of tolerance are on separate playing fields… At this point in my life… One is not dependent upon the other.

 

I use to believe “I put up with ::insert abuse, neglect, disrespect here:: because I love you!” AND “I don’t love you anymore so I’m not putting up with this!” as if putting up with bullsh** would indicate my undying love OR as if NOT putting up with bulls**t would indicate the lack thereof.  NOPE, not true… AT ALL!!!  

 

Circumstance, experience & understanding determines my level of tolerance… my level of tolerance does NOT determine my love for you!  Treat me like a Queen, I will love you & it will unquestionably be reciprocated… abuse me, I will love you, BUT we will NOT be together.

 

Then the question arises… How can I say that one is not dependent on the other, would I ever truly love someone I cannot tolerate?  My answer “Family”… I have family members whose behavior &/or thought process (or lack thereof) I simply cannot/won’t tolerate BUT due to circumstance… I Love them…it’s innate! ::smiles::  

 

 

Thank you for tuning in to today’s Mental Clutter!  Until next time…

=== By: Esther Abraham-Hicks ===

"Child of mine, I will never do for you that which I know you can do for yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective, powerful creator that you've come forth to be. And I will stand back as your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I'm always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you."

 

"Continuing to tell stories of shortage only continues to contradict your desire for abundance, and you cannot have it both ways: You cannot focus upon what is unwanted and receive wanted. You cannot focus upon stories about money that make you feel uncomfortable and allow into your experience what makes you feel comfortable. You have to begin telling a different story if you want different results.

 

We would begin by saying: I want to feel good, I want to feel productive and expansive. My thoughts are the basis for the attraction of all things that I consider to be good, which includes enough money for my comfort and joy, which includes health and wonderful people around me who are stimulating and uplifting and exciting."

(^_^) Today's Mental Clutter (^_^)

And now, reporting live from Sheraya’s brain! 

 

Good Afternoon Loves, I bring you, Today’s Mental Clutter --> hmmm…

 

~ 72 days left in 2010… 7 + 2 = 9… 9 weeks left until Christmas… wowzers!

 

~ Ya know, I’m not trying to tell anyone what 2 do… ok, I lied, I am… But All I’m saying is, people should always fearlessly stand up for themselves…respectfully, of course… I mean unless there’s a bear nearby… yea, then u might want 2 lay down, shut up & play dead! And you’re an exception if you live in a totalitarian country… mmmm, yea…

 

~What if Mr. President said “ya know” while squinting his eyes, after every other sentence? Like, “Yes we can… ::squints…pause:: ya know” or “Issues are never simple. One thing I'm proud of is that very rarely will you hear me simplify the issues, ::squints…pause:: ya know”… Yes yes!  I think he should adopt ::squints…pause:: “ya know”!! He’d earn major cool points 4m me!

 

 

~I get suspicious when ppl begin a convo w/ “To be honest…” or “Real Talk…” or any phrase of that nature.  I mean, are u not usually honest or real?  Ok, now I can’t even take u serious AND I’m compelled 2 ask U 50 million questions… So why’d you choose NOW to be honest??  OR are you beginning this convo with “To be honest…” or “Real Talk…” as an extra effort to get me to believe you BECAUSE you’re lying??

My Daughter

 

-Trust-

Yesterday... I was feeling some kinda way.... I didn't know where this feeling came from, there was no particular event that occurred which brought about said feeling.

I narrowed it down & misinterpreted this feeling as "being in a bad mood" but, why??? After feeling like this Wednesday night and majority of the day Thursday, I reevaluated myself & my mood... Maybe I wasn't in a "bad mood" at all.... Hmm! I'm usually quite chipper, bouncy, easily excited, smiling, bubbly and ready for new adventures... But not yesterday! There was an unusual stillness, emptiness, no excitement, very serious though I wasn't easily angered... My physical sensations were heightened but my emotions were numb... Hmmm

I had no desire to engage in conversation... My breathing was very flat & mellow, my heart rate low, my hands felt different and my eyes felt unusually low.... All I wanted to do was get back to my normal self then it hit me....

Trust this process... Trust these feelings... Trust this mood... Trust...

Then I read the following by Tara Sophia, the only thing left to do, was Trust... So I did...

In any creative feat

(by which I mean your work, your art, your life)
there will be downtimes.

Or so it seems.
Just as the earth is busy before the harvest
and a baby grows before its birth,
there is no silence in you.
There is no time of nothingness.

What if,
during the quiet times, when the idea flow is hushed and hard to find
you trusted (and yes I mean trusted)
that the well was filling, the waters moving?

What if you trusted

that for the rest of eternity,
without prodding, without self-discipline,
without getting over being yourself,
you would be gifted every ounce of productivity you need?
What would leave you? What would open?

And what if during the quiet times you ate great meals
and leaned back to smile at the stars,
and saw them there, as they always are,
nourishing you?

There are seasons and harvest is only a fraction of one of them.
We forget this.

There is the rhythm that made everything.

The next time you stand in the kitchen, leaning,
the next time a moment of silence catches you there,
hear it, that rhythm, and let it place a stone in your spine.
Let it bring you some place beautiful.

^+^ SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns -- Sept. 23, 2010 ^+^

Those things that you have ignored that have been out of order or needed to be fixed are up for review again. You can no longer ignore the things that need to be dealt with either spiritually or naturally; they will not go away or get right without your participation or without your faith and action. You will be presented with prime opportunities to take responsibility that will make a way for you to leave the past behind and have a new start, says the Lord. Don't turn a blind eye.

*My Sensitivity*

I spoke to a previous boyfriend.  We discussed, argued, agreed and disagreed and in the midst of it all, he expressed that we could never work because I am “too sensitive” thus making me immature & insecure and he needs an older, mature woman who can handle his indiscretion…  Being who and how I am… I appreciated, evaluated & have been pondering on said statement since we’ve had this conversation…. and here goes…

 

Indeed, I am an emotionally sensitive person.  I experience emotions extraordinarily intense… my emotional sensitivity is not a matter of feeling more than others, rather, it is a different way of experiencing the world: vivid, captivating, penetrating, encompassing, multifaceted, commanding...

 

Possessing the capacity to feel, experience and express that which he subconsciously suppressed = Failed Relationship on MY part???  Hmmm, let’s dig some more shall we??.

 

Establishing intimacy with anyone, especially your partner, requires some level of emotional participation.  I recognize that some (especially men) view emotional participation as burdensome…a liability…vulnerability  ::insert phrase with negative connotation here:: but are you genuinely suited to be in a relationship if your perception of emotional awareness & connection is comatose?  A healthy relationship, like a healthy meal, is best when balanced and palatable for and by both partners.  When either partner lacks the ability or desire to *feed* the relationship to a point where one partner has to overcompensate ---> you can bet your bottom dollar that someone or both will become unhappy… But that’s a no-brainer, Right??!    Right!! 

 

[Disclaimer: he is not here to defend himself therefore I’ll keep the accusations to a minimum – two sides to every story]  Being the person that he is, ::side eye:: {emotionally unavailable} some things in life, such as love and relationships and all that comes with it, are black and white – no gray areas… either it is or it ain’t!! I don’t think he realizes that some things/emotions/actions/reactions can coexist…

For instance:  It is possible for someone who is sensitive to be with someone who is not sensitive.  I am sensitive to certain situations, subjects and issues yet my actions and/or reactions to said matters are always… well, majority of the time, enriching and positive. I handle myself in such a manner that my emotions and expression elevate, as oppose to hinder, me.

 

My stance is that emotional immaturity is being insensitive to sensitive issues...emotional immaturity signifies negligence and inability to interpret, understand and productively express emotions.  I wonder if he understands that being an emotionally sensitive person is not a requirement in handling sensitive issues?  I feel like he believes (as many people do) that 1 cannot exist without the other…  I love analogies so let me analogize...

 

-->  If I occasionally go out with friends and have drinks, does that make me an alcoholic?  <-- The answer is NO… One can and often does exist without the other… I can go out and have drinks and not be or become an alcoholic.  It is possible to be with a sensitive person and not be or become a sensitive person… In fact, I think it’s a balancing act that’s quite beneficial =]

 

Sweetheart… I am sensitive but I am not emotionally immature or insecure… The DIFFERENCE is in the Execution… 

 

with love,

 

sHERaya

*In My World*

In My World - I post love-notes to Myself from Me on my calendar at work… ::smirk:: 

 

In My World – I have my daughter look in the mirror & say “I Love You” to herself!  (She sometimes think I’m Nuts! lol!) ::smirk::

 

In My World – I write love-notes w/ lipstick on my bathroom mirror in the morning… Sometimes in different languages [there’s an app for that]… Just 2 see me smile when I get home! ::smirk::

 

In My World – I write love-notes on my daughter’s bathroom mirror in the morning just to see her reaction when she gets home!

 

In My World …  

 

 

 

~Breakdown??? Not Even~

If you find yourself wanting to close down because you "followed your Heart" in the past and it didn't work out, remember this: each relationship in your life has been brought to you to teach you and to learn.

 

If you are seeking Love, you will manifest relationships that show you your internal blocks to love. Celebrate past hurts because now you have the lessons in your hands and can learn from them.

 

To shut down is to miss the point. The goal is to remain open to love and become more intelligent about your choices.

 

Great love is knocking, it's your choice to open up.

You can't please everybody by Rick Warren

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 (NIV)

 

"Even God can't please everybody. Only a fool would try to do what even God can't do."

Have you realized that there are some people you can't please?  No matter what you do or what you try or how nice you are to them. You just can't please everybody.

 

But the Bible tells says you don't need to please everybody. "It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you." (Proverbs 29:25 LB) It's an emotional trap when you start worrying about what other people think. We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't even like -- all because we think we must be liked by everyone in order to be happy. That's foolish!

 

Jesus said, "I only seek to please Him who sent me."  (John 5:30 LB) Even Jesus didn't try to please everybody. One person wants it to rain; another doesn't want it to rain. I was one in Texas talking to oil people.  They want oil prices to go up; the rest of us are hoping they'll go down.  Even God can't please everybody.  Only a fool would try to do what even God can't do. 

 

In Luke 6:26 Jesus said, "Woe to you when all men speak well of you." (NIV) That's probably because the only time everybody's going to speak well of you is at your funeral!

 

I meet Christians all the time who must live with someone who makes life crazy. Every day they face someone who is an EGR (extra grace required).  They say, "I try and try to make peace with this person, but I fail and I feel so guilty."  The fact is, it may not be your fault.  It may be the person you're trying to make peace with is just flat out difficult. 

 

Give that person to God and focus on pleasing Him.

~CON TROLL~

Good Day Readers!

 

This Lovely Morning, Me & My Hair Struck a Deal… You do your thing and I’ll do my thing!

 

Recall, I mentioned a month or so ago that I am transitioning [growing out my natural hair meaning no more relaxers for me].  I must admit, this is no walk in the park.  Lately, I’ve been going through an identity crisis… Feeling anxious, insecure and uncertain about myself because I’ve been trying to control my hair to conform to social norms [straight, not so kinky hair] when it doesn’t want to be conformed!!!  It has been almost 5 months since I put a relaxer so there are imperfect kinks and curls everywhere… some places more kinky, frizzy, curly, and/or straight than others.  It has been stressing me out that my hair has not and will not conform, therefore, I have been seriously considering turning back and putting a relaxer…. Until I leaned upon a dear line sister of mine [Keedy] for support, as I always do!  She should have a label on her that says, “Satisfaction Guarantee” because I am always inspired following my conversations, well alright, moreso COMPLAINTS to her regarding hair!

 

She often reminds me that “It’s Just Hair!”  Ha, “Easier said than done!” is always my riposte… until today! I get it… IT IS just hair!  I am NOT my hair and actually, I WOULD much prefer my imperfect kinky, frizzy, curly tresses!!!  I am growing through this hair experience… I am learning to be and let be! 

 

In my humble opinion, There is a part of us all that wants to control… Being in control is powerful, safe and comforting...  Letting go of control is also powerful, safe and comforting!  The difference is the Ego!  Being in control is Great for the Ego… Letting go of Control is Great for the mind, body and soul!  I’ll take mind, body and soul for $300 please!

 

To make things more interesting, I’ve personified this little thing we call control… 

 

There is a tribe of TROLLS called CON from the land of EGOrium!   In the land of EGOrium, the CON TROLL tribe consists of only Giant and Dwarf sized trolls!  These trolls are half beast and half human.  They are mean, ugly cons and have exaggerated facial features!  Beware -- These monsters feed off of sugar, doubt, fast foods, arrogance, salt and anxiety! You can destroy your troll once you identify it (it’s size, name, food(s) of choice and facial features).  Generally, trolls have an aversion to questioning and light!  I am still working on the destruction of my CON TROLL!  Her name is Betsy, she’s a dwarf troll and she absolutely loves to pig out on my hesitation, ice cream, communication skills and insecurities! 

 

 

"Many people spend the majority of their lives attempting to control circumstances because they believe that in the controlling of the circumstance, they will feel better. But no matter how much control they gain over the actions of others, it is never enough - because there is always another uncontrollable circumstance. 
 
You have no creative power within the lives of others, for they are offering their own vibrations, which equal their own point of attraction, just as you are offering your own vibrations, which equal your own point of attraction."
 
- Esther Hicks, Page 135 from her awesome book "Ask and it is Given".

 

Words From The Brilliant Dr. Troy Beyer...

If he KNOWS you KNOW he’s Cheating, it is no longer cheating… Cheating is when one is being dishonest. If he knows you know then there is NO dishonesty… What there is IS YOU settling for less than a partner devoted whole-heartedly to you and at this point it all becomes your problem and not his. Why is it now your problem?  Because you have all the information you need to know your partner is not 100% committed to you. If you are fine with that then you can create a future that works for that. If you are not fine with that and I do mean REALLY fine with that then if you stay in that relationship you will grow to know yourself as a 100% sell out and not only won't you respect yourself, your partner won't respect you and most likely any children you have (especially girls) will also not respect you until you are a 100% stand for what you want, what you are willing to give and thereby able to reclaim your self worth

 

* Frolic and Fancy *

Visit www.frolicandfancy.com or frolicandfancy.shutterfly.com for one of a kind Kiddy Couture!

TODAY'S WORD from Joel and Victoria

Do you realize you have treasure on the inside of you? You could say that your pearls are what God has given you to be a blessing to the world around you—your gifts, talents and abilities. When you get around true friends, people who really believe in you, they won't be jealous of your gifts. They won't constantly question who you are. They won't try to talk you out of your dreams. It will be just the opposite. They'll help you polish your pearls, develop your pearls, enhance your pearls, and grow your pearls. In other words, they'll give you ideas. They'll connect you with people they know. They'll help push you further along. If you stay around people who don't value your gifts nor appreciate what you have to offer, that's casting your pearls among swine.

Your inner circle, those who are closest to you, should be people who celebrate who you are; people who are happy when you succeed. They should be people who believe the very best in you. Remember, it's not the quantity of friends that's important, it's the quality of friends. Choose your friends wisely so you can be all that God has called you to be.

Housewarming Weekend Celebration!

Your Ideas Are Greatly Appreciated…

 

I am looking forward to having a housewarming celebration soon.  As an expression of my appreciation for my home, family and friends; also, welcoming family and friends to my new home… I am , along with a few fabulous line sisters, planning a Housewarming Weekend Celebration! 

 

The dates are tentative but My Celebration will begin Saturday Evening and Conclude Sunday Evening!  I’ve never attended such an event!  I am extremely excited to plan & execute as I am sure it will be a success! 

 

The following is a sneak peek of plans for my weekend celebration…

 

Saturday night Housewarming Cocktail Party – (adults only) 8:30 p.m. - until

 

This evening welcome guests to view my home, socialize, network, eat, have a few drinks, dance and/or relax & overall… look great, feel great, celebrate with me & have a great time!  Guests are expected to wear cocktail attire =] (elegant and simple – not formal)

 

Hors D’Oeuvres will be served J

Desert - Cake designed as a house!!! (how cute)

 

 

Sunday Housewarming Brunch (Breakfast 10-1; Lunch 2:30-5:30)

 

This afternoon is dedicated to guests of all ages!  Guests are welcome to view the house, enjoy food, games, conversation and make memories!

 

Tentative Breakfast Menu:

Morning Mimosas ~ Tainted lemonade ~ French toast ~ Beignets ~ Danish muffins/ banana nut/ blueberry ~ Cinnamon rolls ~ Donuts ~ Fruit/veggie trays ~ yogurt parfait

 

Finger Foods will be served for lunch

 

~ Marvelous Monday Morning My Love ~

"Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, it's unlikely you will step up and take responsibility for making it so. If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, that there are opportunities to change things, there is a chance you may contribute to making a better world. The choice is yours."  -Noam Chomsky

 

 

 

MaGnifYing MiRRoR

Good Day Love! Sweet Dreams?? No cavities I hope! ::giggles:: The weather is mighty gloomy in South Lew-si-an (Louisiana) buuuut my day is Delightful!

Treasure of the day: Magnifying Glass!

I came upon a magnifying glass at work today. I curiously examined different objects with it as if it were a new toy! Moving it around at different angles, placing it near and far away from different objects I realized…

Look closely into a magnifying glass and it becomes a mirror…

You can see more by looking into the glass at different angles…

Light can destroy your vision…

Stay focused...

ExErT eXcErPtS Read All About it!!

Last night I read through chapter 9 of my lovely little book “Ex Free” I began reading at about 8ish and when I looked at the time I realized it was after 11 pm. woah baby!!

I now understand that my attachment to my ex was simply a result of the disconnection from sHERaya ← with HER

She-Ray-A-Sunshine

GoOd DaY lOvE!! 
 
HaIr! Here! WeIgHt! Wait! Hellloooo Beau/Belle-tiful!  Something special is up with my hair, my body,  my heart, my mind and UlTiMaTeLy… my soul!!  Ok, ok… go ahead and call me SpEcIaL =] 
 
It has been [drumroll please]……. 13 weeks since I put a relaxer in my hair!  This is a major accomplishment for me, as I am growing out my relaxer and going natural baby!  The only issue is… now that I am transitioning… I have many textures of hair and not quite sure how to style it!  Ahhhh!!  Nonetheless, I am not at all discouraged.  I somehow believe that hairstyles will come to me in my sleep and I will wake up in the morning “enlightened”!  Something inside says, “cut a few inches off” then I panic and think “oh yea, the last time you cut you were yearning for your hair back buddy”!  hmmm!
 
Next up, WeIgHt! WAIT…. Do you actually think I would reveal my WeiGht to you???  Well I am! [drumroll please]…. I now weigh…. 148lbs at 5’3” tall (womp, womp, wommmpp)!  So, pre-baby weight was between 130-135lbs, athletic!  9th month pregnancy weight was [clears throat] 195lbs! standing 5’3” tall (confused face)!  1 year postpartum weight was 130lbs… this was 4 years ago!  I now have a five year old and my weight is that of when I was 5 months preggers!!  Aaahhh!!  No worries or fears… I was this size and uncomfortable in June 2009 and managed to lose 10 lbs by September 2009!
 
Don’t tell my HeArT! My achy breaky HeArT!!  I just don’t’ think she’ll understand!  Well, well, well, Of course we’ve all gotten our heart broken a time or two!  Well, I am in the process of getting over a major heart break!  Of course I thought he was “ThE oNe”!!  Then it was confirmed… Yea, he’s “ThE oNe” who is not right for me! Ha! We were together for 6 years [woah buddy]! Of course that included ups, downs, ins, outs, we lived together, have a 5 year old, etc… It's exactly 1 yr since I've moved out! [brief moment of silence for love lost].  Great book I’m reading, that I cannot wait to get home too “Ex-Free: 9 Keys to Freedom After Heartbreak” by Dr. Troy Beyer!!
 
My mind is an AmUsEmEnT Park! I am a “thinker”! I love people!  Hey, do you know that I LoVe YoU?!  Yes YoU!  I am optimistic! I have little stickies with inspiring quotes surrounding my desk and computer screen at work! I call it my “positive space”! Oh yes! Are you an upbeat individual??  UpBeAt describes Me!  I am easily amused! For instance: the Budweiser Real Men of Genius commercials cRaCk Me Up! lol! My 5 year old daughter TiCkLeS mY fUnNy BoNe! lol! Majority of the jokes on the mini laffy taffy candies bring a smile to my face! lol!