-Trust-

Yesterday... I was feeling some kinda way.... I didn't know where this feeling came from, there was no particular event that occurred which brought about said feeling.

I narrowed it down & misinterpreted this feeling as "being in a bad mood" but, why??? After feeling like this Wednesday night and majority of the day Thursday, I reevaluated myself & my mood... Maybe I wasn't in a "bad mood" at all.... Hmm! I'm usually quite chipper, bouncy, easily excited, smiling, bubbly and ready for new adventures... But not yesterday! There was an unusual stillness, emptiness, no excitement, very serious though I wasn't easily angered... My physical sensations were heightened but my emotions were numb... Hmmm

I had no desire to engage in conversation... My breathing was very flat & mellow, my heart rate low, my hands felt different and my eyes felt unusually low.... All I wanted to do was get back to my normal self then it hit me....

Trust this process... Trust these feelings... Trust this mood... Trust...

Then I read the following by Tara Sophia, the only thing left to do, was Trust... So I did...

In any creative feat

(by which I mean your work, your art, your life)
there will be downtimes.

Or so it seems.
Just as the earth is busy before the harvest
and a baby grows before its birth,
there is no silence in you.
There is no time of nothingness.

What if,
during the quiet times, when the idea flow is hushed and hard to find
you trusted (and yes I mean trusted)
that the well was filling, the waters moving?

What if you trusted

that for the rest of eternity,
without prodding, without self-discipline,
without getting over being yourself,
you would be gifted every ounce of productivity you need?
What would leave you? What would open?

And what if during the quiet times you ate great meals
and leaned back to smile at the stars,
and saw them there, as they always are,
nourishing you?

There are seasons and harvest is only a fraction of one of them.
We forget this.

There is the rhythm that made everything.

The next time you stand in the kitchen, leaning,
the next time a moment of silence catches you there,
hear it, that rhythm, and let it place a stone in your spine.
Let it bring you some place beautiful.