===Today's Mental Clutter===

And now reporting live from Sheraya’s Brain… ::elevator music::

 

Hello Hello and Welcome back to another episode of ===)) Mental Clutter ((===

 

Keri Hilson’s “Breaking Point” – Love the Song!!… here’s my take on the subject --> There’s NO LIMIT to my Love… either I love you or I don’t BUT there is a Limit to what I will tolerate from you.  My love & level of tolerance are on separate playing fields… At this point in my life… One is not dependent upon the other.

 

I use to believe “I put up with ::insert abuse, neglect, disrespect here:: because I love you!” AND “I don’t love you anymore so I’m not putting up with this!” as if putting up with bullsh** would indicate my undying love OR as if NOT putting up with bulls**t would indicate the lack thereof.  NOPE, not true… AT ALL!!!  

 

Circumstance, experience & understanding determines my level of tolerance… my level of tolerance does NOT determine my love for you!  Treat me like a Queen, I will love you & it will unquestionably be reciprocated… abuse me, I will love you, BUT we will NOT be together.

 

Then the question arises… How can I say that one is not dependent on the other, would I ever truly love someone I cannot tolerate?  My answer “Family”… I have family members whose behavior &/or thought process (or lack thereof) I simply cannot/won’t tolerate BUT due to circumstance… I Love them…it’s innate! ::smiles::  

 

 

Thank you for tuning in to today’s Mental Clutter!  Until next time…

=== By: Esther Abraham-Hicks ===

"Child of mine, I will never do for you that which I know you can do for yourself. I will never rob you of an opportunity to show yourself your ability and talent. I will see you at all times as the capable, effective, powerful creator that you've come forth to be. And I will stand back as your most avid cheerleading section. But I will not do for you that which you have intended to do for yourself. Anything you need from me, ask. I'm always here to compliment or assist. I am here to encourage your growth, not to justify my experience through you."

 

"Continuing to tell stories of shortage only continues to contradict your desire for abundance, and you cannot have it both ways: You cannot focus upon what is unwanted and receive wanted. You cannot focus upon stories about money that make you feel uncomfortable and allow into your experience what makes you feel comfortable. You have to begin telling a different story if you want different results.

 

We would begin by saying: I want to feel good, I want to feel productive and expansive. My thoughts are the basis for the attraction of all things that I consider to be good, which includes enough money for my comfort and joy, which includes health and wonderful people around me who are stimulating and uplifting and exciting."

(^_^) Today's Mental Clutter (^_^)

And now, reporting live from Sheraya’s brain! 

 

Good Afternoon Loves, I bring you, Today’s Mental Clutter --> hmmm…

 

~ 72 days left in 2010… 7 + 2 = 9… 9 weeks left until Christmas… wowzers!

 

~ Ya know, I’m not trying to tell anyone what 2 do… ok, I lied, I am… But All I’m saying is, people should always fearlessly stand up for themselves…respectfully, of course… I mean unless there’s a bear nearby… yea, then u might want 2 lay down, shut up & play dead! And you’re an exception if you live in a totalitarian country… mmmm, yea…

 

~What if Mr. President said “ya know” while squinting his eyes, after every other sentence? Like, “Yes we can… ::squints…pause:: ya know” or “Issues are never simple. One thing I'm proud of is that very rarely will you hear me simplify the issues, ::squints…pause:: ya know”… Yes yes!  I think he should adopt ::squints…pause:: “ya know”!! He’d earn major cool points 4m me!

 

 

~I get suspicious when ppl begin a convo w/ “To be honest…” or “Real Talk…” or any phrase of that nature.  I mean, are u not usually honest or real?  Ok, now I can’t even take u serious AND I’m compelled 2 ask U 50 million questions… So why’d you choose NOW to be honest??  OR are you beginning this convo with “To be honest…” or “Real Talk…” as an extra effort to get me to believe you BECAUSE you’re lying??

My Daughter

 

-Trust-

Yesterday... I was feeling some kinda way.... I didn't know where this feeling came from, there was no particular event that occurred which brought about said feeling.

I narrowed it down & misinterpreted this feeling as "being in a bad mood" but, why??? After feeling like this Wednesday night and majority of the day Thursday, I reevaluated myself & my mood... Maybe I wasn't in a "bad mood" at all.... Hmm! I'm usually quite chipper, bouncy, easily excited, smiling, bubbly and ready for new adventures... But not yesterday! There was an unusual stillness, emptiness, no excitement, very serious though I wasn't easily angered... My physical sensations were heightened but my emotions were numb... Hmmm

I had no desire to engage in conversation... My breathing was very flat & mellow, my heart rate low, my hands felt different and my eyes felt unusually low.... All I wanted to do was get back to my normal self then it hit me....

Trust this process... Trust these feelings... Trust this mood... Trust...

Then I read the following by Tara Sophia, the only thing left to do, was Trust... So I did...

In any creative feat

(by which I mean your work, your art, your life)
there will be downtimes.

Or so it seems.
Just as the earth is busy before the harvest
and a baby grows before its birth,
there is no silence in you.
There is no time of nothingness.

What if,
during the quiet times, when the idea flow is hushed and hard to find
you trusted (and yes I mean trusted)
that the well was filling, the waters moving?

What if you trusted

that for the rest of eternity,
without prodding, without self-discipline,
without getting over being yourself,
you would be gifted every ounce of productivity you need?
What would leave you? What would open?

And what if during the quiet times you ate great meals
and leaned back to smile at the stars,
and saw them there, as they always are,
nourishing you?

There are seasons and harvest is only a fraction of one of them.
We forget this.

There is the rhythm that made everything.

The next time you stand in the kitchen, leaning,
the next time a moment of silence catches you there,
hear it, that rhythm, and let it place a stone in your spine.
Let it bring you some place beautiful.

^+^ SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns -- Sept. 23, 2010 ^+^

Those things that you have ignored that have been out of order or needed to be fixed are up for review again. You can no longer ignore the things that need to be dealt with either spiritually or naturally; they will not go away or get right without your participation or without your faith and action. You will be presented with prime opportunities to take responsibility that will make a way for you to leave the past behind and have a new start, says the Lord. Don't turn a blind eye.

*My Sensitivity*

I spoke to a previous boyfriend.  We discussed, argued, agreed and disagreed and in the midst of it all, he expressed that we could never work because I am “too sensitive” thus making me immature & insecure and he needs an older, mature woman who can handle his indiscretion…  Being who and how I am… I appreciated, evaluated & have been pondering on said statement since we’ve had this conversation…. and here goes…

 

Indeed, I am an emotionally sensitive person.  I experience emotions extraordinarily intense… my emotional sensitivity is not a matter of feeling more than others, rather, it is a different way of experiencing the world: vivid, captivating, penetrating, encompassing, multifaceted, commanding...

 

Possessing the capacity to feel, experience and express that which he subconsciously suppressed = Failed Relationship on MY part???  Hmmm, let’s dig some more shall we??.

 

Establishing intimacy with anyone, especially your partner, requires some level of emotional participation.  I recognize that some (especially men) view emotional participation as burdensome…a liability…vulnerability  ::insert phrase with negative connotation here:: but are you genuinely suited to be in a relationship if your perception of emotional awareness & connection is comatose?  A healthy relationship, like a healthy meal, is best when balanced and palatable for and by both partners.  When either partner lacks the ability or desire to *feed* the relationship to a point where one partner has to overcompensate ---> you can bet your bottom dollar that someone or both will become unhappy… But that’s a no-brainer, Right??!    Right!! 

 

[Disclaimer: he is not here to defend himself therefore I’ll keep the accusations to a minimum – two sides to every story]  Being the person that he is, ::side eye:: {emotionally unavailable} some things in life, such as love and relationships and all that comes with it, are black and white – no gray areas… either it is or it ain’t!! I don’t think he realizes that some things/emotions/actions/reactions can coexist…

For instance:  It is possible for someone who is sensitive to be with someone who is not sensitive.  I am sensitive to certain situations, subjects and issues yet my actions and/or reactions to said matters are always… well, majority of the time, enriching and positive. I handle myself in such a manner that my emotions and expression elevate, as oppose to hinder, me.

 

My stance is that emotional immaturity is being insensitive to sensitive issues...emotional immaturity signifies negligence and inability to interpret, understand and productively express emotions.  I wonder if he understands that being an emotionally sensitive person is not a requirement in handling sensitive issues?  I feel like he believes (as many people do) that 1 cannot exist without the other…  I love analogies so let me analogize...

 

-->  If I occasionally go out with friends and have drinks, does that make me an alcoholic?  <-- The answer is NO… One can and often does exist without the other… I can go out and have drinks and not be or become an alcoholic.  It is possible to be with a sensitive person and not be or become a sensitive person… In fact, I think it’s a balancing act that’s quite beneficial =]

 

Sweetheart… I am sensitive but I am not emotionally immature or insecure… The DIFFERENCE is in the Execution… 

 

with love,

 

sHERaya